Bringing back to current times: I require Substance, I prefer Both, I will accept Beauty. Please Please, don't get me wrong, looks do play a part!
Substance - Yes all men want "eye candy" to look at and to show off to his boys. As they say once the lights go out I need you to keep my attention behind closed doors, and I'm not talking set either. I'm talking talk. Can you keep a conversation and keep my mind occupied. I can't speak for a brothers out here but I get bored easily. I need to be mentally stimulated as well as sexually stimulated. I need you to be able to talk about any and everything with me. Yes I watch the news, local and world. I'm not talking you being a rocket scientist because I'm not that smart. All I'm asking is, be open, be able to communicate with me and we will make this thing work!
Beauty - We all want to live the Jay-Z or Tom Brady life; it's every brothers dream! Halle Berry, The Flotus Mrs Obama & B! What man in their right mind wouldn't want these beautiful ladies by their side. The thing that makes these women beautiful outside of the looks is the brains and how they master their domain! These women own everything they do. Their substance is what makes these women beautiful. Wow how I keep coming back to that word.
I guess a man can change his ways. So ladies take notes, as we men change, you need to change with us and know; it's not all about the pretty looks. As mom-mom always told me: "God don't like ugly and he's not crazy about beauty!" Think about it, you'll figure it out like I eventually did.
Disclaimer: These are just one mans opinions, mine. Names & pictures used are not an endorsement of this Blog!
I takes more than a 6 pack and a handsome face to keep a real women's attention. I'm not saying looks don't play a part with how some women choose but we like a man with something to offer also, especially someone who wants more from us than sex. I've never been the kind to discriminate based on looks or choose based because of looks, even though I'm always judged.
ReplyDeleteI never knew I not only needed to look good for you but also your boys, wow! Who am I dating them or you? I agree with the being able to communicate,and having more to offer than a pretty face etc.. Its good to hear a man say that they are looking for more than looks, but the jury is still out on that one.(Don't totally believe)
Why do men always bring up Beyoncé or Hallie? Yes, they are beautiful women of substance, but not a good comparison to the everyday real women. I always say that you like what you like, but are you saying she doesn't have a chance if she has this substance and is not very attractive? You just might be missing out on a good thing!
Haha, I don't know where to start when I reply to your comments! But here I go... So you mean to tell me when you and your guy go out or even just hang with "Friends" he's never hinted at what you should wear??? Ok, I'm going to keep it real; he's never asked " you really gonna wear that?" Or how about wearing the other outfit I like...it's not only about what be likes it's about impressing his boys! Yes ladies we do that... Just like y'all have girl talk; we talk too! Not so much in words but in actions! So yes when y'all out with ya people's having fun, be sure you know you are Representing ya man and letting his boys know, yea she's HOT!
DeleteThe reason we bring those women up is simple: Beauty and Brains is a Deal Sealer! As I stated throughout the post, it's not all about a pretty face. But know when we can get both; it's the icing on the cake!!! No, we're not missing out. Think about it; have you ever seen that Hot Boy you say you're attracted to (6pack abs) with a just average everyday real woman as you say? You know you have, it's not about her sex, it's not about her money, it's the fact she has a substance about her that made him want to settle down...
No my ex never commented or suggested that I wear a certain outfit! He never made me feel like I needed to look a certain way because we were out with friends. I don't get the representing him, I like to think I Rep myself first.
DeleteYeah I've seen the hot boy with the average girl and I get that, but I also see the average boy always chasing the hot girl! I'm trying to speak up for those who don't fall in either category, we're somewhere in the middle. Ijs
As I'm sure you have heard... It's the "Trophy Wife" syndrome.
DeleteLOL at "deal sealer" I really enjoyed reading both your comments & I think you made a solid argument Duane....substance & compatibility are the only things that keep a man, although I believe a woman's looks attract him. Substance isn't defined as intellect alone, but curiosity, a willingness to learn, try new things, find a deeper meaning to life & having a persona. Its a rare quality as the world has become too focused on the exterior (Im guilty of feeding into this mentality) but life teaches us wisdom the hard way, so I know better now. I've dated handsome & average looking guys but the characteristics that make me weak at the knees are always, confidence (not arrogance) took me a while to differentiate the 2, humor, kindness, the ability to be expressive, loyalty & charisma. So speaking from a woman's perspective, I place substance above looks too b/c I can build a foundation with it which may lead onto a future.
ReplyDeletewww.blackcitygirl.com
Very well spoken. I think while we're growing up, we learn what we want our potential mates to possess. Yes looks attract us in the beginning. There most definitely has to be that initial attraction! You're lying if you say you don't. Once you get to know, learn that person, that's where looks take a back seat to substance. The "Dumb Blonde" mentality has played it's course and went out in the 90s. It's a new day and a new way of dating!
Delete#Relationships2013
Thanks for the comments and replies. I look forward to our continued #Blogs
Good one Duane!! I can admit this is a good one, Substance is sexy not beauty. Just like you I get bored easily and that has been my problem with American men... I am from a different part of the world and we are open-minded already, we know more about other parts of the world already etc... I am bothered to be with a man who is not interested in traveling, and stepping out of his comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteLooks are great but substance is BETTER :)