Black Women: Are you Enabling or Hindering Your Relationahip?

   Last week I went in on Black Men asking them to get the respect back that they lost in society and in their homes. Well guess what ladies, it's your turn! I'm coming after you this time out; giving you my thoughts and feelings on all y'all always asking your man to be a man!  Yes, I can admit there are more than enough times we men need to stand up and act like men, take care of home, treat you women like the Queens that you are. No we don't always take out the trash, we sit in front of the TV watching sports throwing a few back. We've all done it, but is is not about what men do or don't do, it's about what you let us do.

     Ladies, I'm coming to you because I'm always hearing from y'all what pisses you off about your man, your dude or your guy. About what he wants from you or wants you to do for him.  Well maybe, just maybe he is this way because you allow him to be this way.  I will always believe in the saying, "A man will do what you allow him to do!" 

   Here are a few questions I would like you to ask yourself while you're reading through this blog.  Are you doing enough to motivate your man and keep him focused on your relationship?  Are you giving him that positive reinforcement that he may need to make it through his day. I don't care what you say, it is hard out here for us black men and sometimes we need that positive push instead if the negative beat down.  I'm always hearing from women across all ages and socio-economic statuses about what they won't do for their man yet expect the world from their man.  Now how does that work??? 

     You can't tell me that you don't want to cook for me but expect me to bring home the bacon. The old wives tale still holds form, 'A way to a mans heart is through his stomach." Old wives, not too many of them around anymore is it. Women want to live the married life but dont want to do the wifely duties of taking care of home. Yes you work all week and I know you get tired, damn so do I. Today’s woman no longer wants to work outside the house and inside of the house, its either one or the other. Well when I was growing up Mom did both and didn't complain about it.  Well at least I don't think she complained about it, but I was a child and I stayed in my place so I wouldn't know if she did.  What I do know is that my parents went to work everyday, mom came home cooked dinner, took care of the kids and laundry…while pop, came home from work sat at the end of the table and paid the bills.

All that being said, yes ladies working outside the house as well as inside the house can be done, question is, are you willing to do it??? 

      Ladies if you allowing your man to sit at home and not work, play XBox or PS3 all day and drink that might just be your fault. Yeah he should have more ambition than that but this is not that blog. All we men want from you is some resemblance of respect and we will give you the world. We don't want a mother, we already have one of those. We don't want a teacher or another boss, we have that on the job. Men just want that confidant to share mutual respect and love.    

The Passion of IAmDuaneB

Passion (from the Latin verb patī meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something.

     This purpose of this Blog is Passion. Not passion in the sense of sexuality but a "Passion" for life! I'm talking about a passon that moves me, that makes me tic and stay on top of my grind. The passion of IAmDuaneB is "FAMILY." Yes I said it, my family is my passion and hopefully by the end of this Blog you will understand where this passion comes from.

     I came across this from an open interview blog www.mlleparker.com created by @KareenParker aka UniK by Mlle Parker.

The next set of interview questions will help delve into the passion that burns within. 

Kareen: 

1) Who is Duane? (Personality, hobbies, cultural background, tell us something UniK about you)?

Duane: Duane is a family that likes to have fun yet works hard to provide for him and his. A definite Philadelphia sports fan - "4 for 4", it's a Philly thing! I also have a strong passion in my African-American history as that was just one of my Majors in college, Temple University. The thing I feel as though is unique to me is that I'm a 41 y/o Black Male living with Type1 aka Juvenile Diabetes. I have seen the changes in technology and the way diabetes is being treated and talked about. It's no longer known as "Sugar" as it once was known!

Kareen:

2) What is your passion in life? Why?

Duane: I live for my daughter and my family. We have a very close bond and would go to the very end to do whatever we needed to protect and provide for each other. Growing up in my Mom-Mom house I learned the value of family morals. I stayed with her so I could go to school Mondays - Fridays and then would spend the weekend with my parents. From the beginning I learned family would do anything possible to make life better. This past May i seen my parents celebrate their 41st wedding anniversary. if thats not morivation, i dont know what is. They have shown me how to be a responsible parent as well as an productive adult. So as the tradition continues, I will do whatever it takes to create an even better life for my daughter?

Kareen:

3) How did you discover it?

Duane: As a single father, it hit me that it was just me and my daughter (with the help of my family) and it was time for me to "Man Up" and raise my daughter. As important as it is to have a mothers love which is now missing from her life, i found it to be just as important for a Fathers love and stability to be present in her life.

Kareen:

4) What do you like to talk about with your friends?

Duane: Our conversation can vary from talking about growing up, We've all known each other since kindergarten or 1st grade, to marketing and investing. Yes that's a wide variety of topics but all can be touched on any outing. The main topic is usually sports, football or basketball.

Kareen:

5) What would you regret not having tried? What is keeping you from doing it?

Duane: My biggest regret is not finishing college. I put in 3 yrs in a double major of African-American Studies and Sociology. The thing that's keeping me from going back is me. When I sit and think about it, I make excuses why I don't go back and get my degree. I'm too old at 41 to be changing my career.  My work hours won't allow me to properly study. Yes, I make excuse after excuse as to why I'm still running from college.

Kareen:

6) What makes you smile, makes you happy whenever you encounter it?

Duane: My pride and joy Dionne aka Dee is the person that brings joy to my heart. I know it's cliche but she is my Mini-Me. I'm afraid because she acts just like me in all ways, mannerisms and all. Fellas be on ya toes cause she's a tough one...

7) Odds & Ends: 

I'm currently an Tower/Operations Manager for a major airline here in my hometown of PHL Philadelphia, PA. My blog: IamDuaneB.blogspot.com, is just my thoughts of the world as seen from my point of view. I talk about issues I've read or discussed with others from Social Media outlets as Twitter and Facebook. You can follow: @Duane19015 on Twitter @Duane19015 on Instagram. Trust me, I follow back!!!

I would like to thank @KareenParker for the opportunity to write on this guest blog. Hope to blog with you again!

IamDuaneB 

#Relationships2013 The Series Begins

Just sitting back, looking and listening to: friends, family, acquaintances & even those I don't know, I've come to the conclusion that there are many definitions when it comes to being in a "relationship!"
Many of my younger friends, 30 under crew, a relationship exists for self gratification. What can "I" get out of it. I've heard it said...we can do this but I don't want you catching feelings. One of my favorites is... I'm not looking for anything serious right now! This one is good too...he/she are not my boyfriend/girlfriend they're just my homie! These terms/ sayings are used in reference to relationships; but why? Is it because you want to experience being in a relationship without having to commit to someone? You know, the factor of having company around; someone to go out with and somewhere to go when you're bored. Hell for them just to be a friend they're always around, just chilling. Something goes wrong, they are the first person you're calling up to tell them what happened. Sounds like a relationship to me! As they say, y'all have truly changed the game in this relationship thing!
Then we have my people, 35 to 45. Hell we're older, smarter, and more experienced than the 'youngins'. We've been there and done that already! I'm not too sure on where to stand on this one. We have a totally different set of issues going on over here. Most times we have kids involved, ex's or just several open ended situations. Yes, I'm still talking relationships, stay with me.
Excluding the married folks (y'all get a pass right now), people in my crew 35-45, most have so many reasons or excuses for their relationships. You know what I'm talking about, we're not married because she/he is not ready to commit or they just don't have their shit together. Yet they have a house, a child and have been together for 25 years now. Isn't that the prime example of a RELATIONSHIP, I thought it was.
These are just a few of the examples that has lead to my questioning of what a relationship is in today's society.
All in all, I have faith that I really do understand what the word relationship means when it comes to: seeing people, dating and marriage. I give that credit to my parents who earlier this year celebrated 41 years! They have showed me the good and the not so good of relationships.
This will be part of an on going series I want to start: #Relationships2013