1. Communicate: Ladies you will need to stop playing the guessing games. Talk to us. Any Good Man will need/want/desire/require you to communicate with him. Those 90s-00s "well he should already know" times are over. Here's a clue, We Don't Know...
We don't know what you are thinking. We don't know what you want to do. Unless you tell us, we don't know what you like. In order to make these things happen, you simply need to tell us, communicate. Trust me, there nothing wrong with telling your man, husband, boyfriend the things you like, the things you want to do, and what's on your mind. It's your mind, how, the hell am I supposed to know what's going inside of your head? I got my own mental issues to deal with.
In order to grow together, you will need to talk that man.
2. Stop comparing: The Good Man that you are seeking to be in your life is not going to come around if you keep living in an holding onto past relationship failures. Your prospective new relationship needs to be just that NEW. I will tell you this, no Good Man wants to be with a woman who's going to keep dwelling on what happened in her last relationship. Your good man is not sitting around playing XBox or Playstation all day in his wife beater. He's not, going to spending your money that you work hard to make while he lets his go to waste on other women and drinking. What you had was a bad imitation of a Man. Notice I didn't say good man, just a man. No good wants to be compared to this because this below his standard. He is not going to put himself through the constant questioning and accusations based off of what some other clown has done to you. A Good Man does not feel the need to have to prove himself to you in anyway shape or form. Why should he have to; he goes to work everyday (sometimes on his day off) to provide for his family, he protects those he cares about. He will do what needs to be done to make sure he has a happy home. A man wants to build with his woman, not fix his woman!
3. Ms. Independent: As I have spoken in this one before, being Independent is just as bad as a mans Pride. Ok, you don't need a man to pay ya bill$. You don't need a man to provide for you because you have your own job. No you didn't make that baby by yourself but your damn sure raising that baby by yourself; you don't need no man. Hell, it's a few of y'all out here that don't even need a man for sex anymore. This will damn keep that Good Man away! Shit, most times it will send him running to the arms of another. Damn, not only do we have to compete with other men, we now have to compete with you and other women... WTF! All in all, Ms. Independent has taken over the role of being the man for herself and no longer let's a man be a man.
These are just 3 reasons as to why I think some of you have not found yourself - "A Good Man!"
1. Yes I admit that we need to work at being better communicators and letting men know what we want. We are well aware that you are not mind readers and we are not also. Communication does go both ways! Glad to finally here a man admit that they have issues also, so its not only the women...
ReplyDelete2. Most women can only go by what they have experienced and no its not right if she is comparing. But unless she verbally compares him to you stop automatically thinking a comparison is being made. Maybe its YOU, thinking you have to prove to us that your not him.(YOU DON'T NEED TOO)
FIX HIS WOMAN- No we don't need you to fix us, but I believe part of our healing occurs when we find the right person who loves us how we deserve to be loved. Until this happens I don't think healing is complete. I'm not saying dealing with someone who has been hurt is easy and I admit we need to work harder at showing men that your honesty, faithfulness, love and commitment etc.. is all we need.
Any women who has be hurt bad and has found her Good Man probably won't admit that when she met him that hurt/bitterness was still there. She learned how to hide it or he really was a good man who knew she was a good woman that deserved a chance and he was committed to making it work.
3. I'm tired of every Independent Women being grouped together! Some are this way because they have to be (Single parent). Not all independent women turn gay and start dating other women. I said it before, if she is so independent that she doesn't need a man who are you to question her. This means she's not the right women for you anyway. Sorry if you think this decreases your pool of choices...but its a lot of us good ones still available!
I have 2 questions:
1.Do women who have been hurt really have a chance if the so called Good Man believes the three points you made?
2.Do Good Men prefer women without kids? (I'm beginning to believe)
Men need to stop dating women knowing they don't have any intentions of committing to them, especially if she has expressed having a real relationship with him!
Can I suggest men read @StephanSpeaks blog - Top 12 Reasons "Good Men" are Single - #3 was very interesting!
You make good counter points. Again this is a mans, this mans point of view. What I believe or choose to do won't necessarily work for the next man. As you don't want to be grouped together, I can't be grouped as well.
ReplyDeleteNow let's see if I have an answer to your questions...
1. Yes you have a chance. If he is taking the time to talk and get to know you, there is always a chance. If there wasn't, he wouldn't be wasting his time communicating with said woman.
2. It's not so simple as to say a woman with kids or a woman without kids. This is a matter of personal choice. Sorry to be short but that's just the truth...